There is a aphotic ancillary to active in the US, and it is accustomed as the DMV. Listen to these ten tales of woe from Jalopnik readers and you’ll get a aftertaste of American authority at its worst.
The DMV claims to be an alignment brash to accumulate drivers educated, safe, and acknowledged abundant in the …
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There is a aphotic ancillary to active in the US, and it is accustomed as the DMV. Listen to these ten tales of …
Photo Credit: Omar Bárcena
10.) Counterfeiters get Mustang GTs
Suggested By: frankiepoops
Worst acquaintance that I anytime had was aback the NY DMV absitively that my appellation for my 1996 green…
Worst acquaintance that I anytime had was aback the NY DMV absitively that my appellation for my 1996 blooming Mustang was counterfeit, not the aboriginal time I registered it, but aback I went aback to put it aback on the alley afterwards parking it for a year. They approved to explain that the VIN was for a blooming 1996 Ford Windstar. Aback I asked how I had registered it previously, they explained that I had never had it registered.
Because I plan on amateurishness at the DMV, I had the old allotment with me, showed it to the teller, and listened to her acquaint me that the allotment was affected as able-bodied and I should delay to the ancillary for the badge to appearance up. At this point, I got loud, and the administrator came over and dealt with me at a altered booth.
This administrator was able to appreciate that there was some array of mix up, and agreed that if I were that acceptable at counterfeiting, I would accept at atomic had a Mustang GT. The badge accustomed and proceeded to catechism me behindhand of the DMV administrator cogent them it was a mistake, and afterwards about 20 account they laughed at me and ancient the DMV. Afterwards about 5 hours of arguing at the DMV, the administrator alleged up the DMV arrangement that registered the Windstar two canicule previously, and the babe at that arrangement had fabricated a typo with the van’s VIN at the added office.
I was assuredly able to leave, afterwards a badge escort, and with a new registration.
Photo Credit: Ford
9.) The better on the list
Suggested By: nosirromgiarc
The day afterwards I angry 16 my parents took me to get my license. Like best 16-year-olds, I’d…
The day afterwards I angry 16 my parents took me to get my license. Like best 16-year-olds, I’d had my learner’s admittance for a year and was acquisitive to go. The abandon of active myself awaited. I was abundantly excited.
Our DMV had a bankrupt analysis advance abaft the architecture and uniformed cops administered the test. Afterwards cat-and-mouse for about an hour, an administrator assuredly comes over and says it’s my turn. He tells me to cull the car to the starting band and says he’ll be appropriate out. I acquaint my ancestor to ambition me luck. As instructed, I aback the car from the parking spot, cull up to the alpha band above the parking lot, and delay for him.
After a brace account he comes out. The barter goes like this:
COP: “How did you get this car to the starting line?”
ME (surprised): “I collection it over.”
COP: “Son, you don’t accept a authorization yet. You aren’t accustomed to drive afterwards an developed in the vehicle. You bootless the test.”
ME (laughing):”You’re joking, right?”
COP: “I’m asleep serious.”
Me (shocked): “I alone confused it 20 feet, and you told me to do it!”
COP: “You can appear aback tomorrow, but you’re not demography this analysis today. And if you don’t get a ancestor afore you move this car afresh I’ll accord you a ticket.”
He walks abroad and leaves me ashamed abaft the wheel. The adulterated actually set me up. Aloof to be a jerk. 23 years afterwards and I’m still absinthian about it.
Photo Credit: OregonDOT
8.) How apathy a $10 admission amount $102
Suggested By: Tohru Rokuno
My affliction acquaintance is apathy about a $10 bench belt ticket.
My affliction acquaintance is apathy about a $10 bench belt ticket.
After 3 months, the agent of courts in the canton the admission was issued beatific in a apprehension to the accompaniment DMV to accept my authorization abeyant for abortion to pay a ticket. This adds a $60 acknowledgment fee to this process.
The accompaniment never lets me apperceive that that my authorization is suspended.They pulled it in September. I begin out about it in March.
I had been out of work, and had let allowance blooper on my vehicle. My parents action to pay to reinstate my insurance, alone for the allowance bodies to say, “Sorry, your authorization is suspended.” Wait, what? This is the aboriginal I acquisition out about it.
Then I alarm the accompaniment DMV, who say that if you pay the ticket, they can abandon the acknowledgment fee. So, I pay the $10, and go to the DMV arrangement with the anatomy advertence the admission was paid. The guy at the adverse says that he can’t abandon the fee, and to alarm the accompaniment DMV again.
I alarm the accompaniment DMV, and sit on authority for 20 account until I get somebody. This guy says they can alone abandon the fee if the abeyance apprehension was beatific out incorrectly, i.e. the admission was paid, but the abeyance apprehension was beatific out anyways.
So, I clump in, burst and defeated. The guy at the adverse says, “Well, your authorization expires this year. We can renew it at the aforementioned time, and save you $10.” Well, sure, whatever. Guy says the absolute is $84. Prints it up, comes back, and says the absolute is $92. At this point, I’m like “WTF, dude.” He explains that the added $8 is for my motorcycle endorsement. Whatever, let’s aloof get this done with.
That’s how apathy a $10 admission amount me $102.
Photo Credit: Peter Dutton
7.) Be accurate what you ambition for
Suggested By: protodad
This one is adamantine to categorize, it is why I abhorrence abhorrence the DMV and our active arrangement in general. …
This one is adamantine to categorize, it is why I abhorrence abhorrence the DMV and our active arrangement in general: inconsistent practices and brainless rules.
I took my aboriginal accounting analysis at 16 to get my authorization (I had a permit, and accounting comes afore the active analysis in CA).
I bootless by 1 point. You can absence 7 and I absent 8. I still bethink one of them.So I appear aback a anniversary afterwards to booty the analysis again. This time I absence 7, and the adult abaft the adverse said that I failed. I told her that I am accustomed to absence 7, and that is what they told me aftermost week.
She realizes that she gave me the authorization face-lifting analysis (to a 16 year old?) and on that one you can alone absence 6. So she tells me that aback I alone absent 7 and that is acceptable abundant for the added analysis she would aloof put it bottomward as a pass.
So yea, I accept never anesthetized the accounting analysis for a driver’s license. How abounding added drivers haven’t either.
Photo Credit: Oregon DOT
6.) The Jedi cop
Suggested By: billcamino
I bought a 1990 Mustang GT at an auction. The car had lein paperwork, but that’s not a red…
I bought a 1990 Mustang GT at an auction. The car had lein paperwork, but that’s not a red banderole for me. I buy a LOT of lein appellation cars, and accept never had an issue. I arrested the car, arrested the paperwork, and aggregate was in order, so I fabricated a low brawl action that was accepted. I got to the DMV, and afterwards cat-and-mouse 2 hours in line, the agent said “Well, I’m activity to accept to alarm Sacramento to verify everything”. Again, this is not my aboriginal time at the rodeo, but it is the aboriginal time a agent has said they’d accept to alarm the Capitol to analysis things out. I knew things were not activity to go smoothly.
Within minutes, two Badge Officers were convoying me to a aback allowance (I was acquisitive there would be donuts and coffee.. there wasn’t). Long adventure short: Allegedly the PO had absorbed an amp up to the anchor ablaze circuit, and absolute the fuse. The car was pulled over for no anchor lights.. and the disciplinarian was an actionable immigrant with no drivers license, active his girlfriends car. The car was impounded by the police. They beatific the PO certified belletrist advertence article to the aftereffect of “hey, we accept your car and will bargain it if you don’t affirmation it”. She didn’t affirmation it. Instead, she appear it stolen.
Officer #1 followed the cardboard trail, apparent that I was the accurate acknowledged buyer of the vehicle, and fiddled with their arrangement to accomplish the car not stolen, and OK to be registered. This alone took 4 hours. I went aback to the clerk, and they were closing for the day. I’d accept to appear aback tomorrow. I went aback in the aing morning and, accept you anytime apparent that cine “Groundhog Day”? Yep, the agent (SSDC: Aforementioned bits altered clerk) said she had to alarm Sacramento to analysis things out. Luckily, Administrator #1 was the aboriginal responder, and got things taken affliction of. He aloof told her “this one is acceptable to go”.
Maybe he was a Jedi cop? I dunno…
Photo Credit: OregonDOT
5.) Blinded by incompetence
Suggested By: Jstas
Went to booty the eye analysis and accounting analysis for my learner’s admittance aback I was 16. Aced the accounting exam. Well, it chock-full me at 70% with the aboriginal 14 questions ’cause that’s all I bare to pass. They had a apparatus to do the analysis for the eye exam. It was like any added eye exam, belletrist and numbers on a card. Apprehend them and you canyon or fail.
Well, I apperceive my appropriate eye is my anemic eye and my larboard eye is my able eye. I’m lookin’ in this box and I can’t see bits on the larboard side. Patty and Selma there abaft the adverse accumulate allurement me “What do you see on the left?” I accumulate cogent them “Nothing, it’s blank, it’s dark.” They change slides, ask afresh and this goes on for 10 minutes. Assuredly I attending up and ask them “Are you fucking serious?”
Now I went to the DMV with my active academy adviser (got a abatement on my car allowance if I went to active school). She looks in and says to Patty and Selma “Honey, there’s annihilation in the larboard screen. You apparatus is broken.” Patty and Selma accord her a attending like “Trifilin’ bitch! My apparatus ain’t broke!”
They duke me my appliance for a learner’s admittance and it’s formed “DENIED” In the acumen area it says “Legally dark in larboard eye.”
I actually absent my bits and my active adviser had to annoyance me out of there. She fabricated me delay in the car and went aback in to altercate my case. She comes aback out 15 account afterwards and says “They’re all fucking idiots. They appetite you to go to an eye doctor for proof. Alike admitting the gawd accursed apparatus is broken!”
Meanwhile, my sister anesthetized her eye assay with aerial colors because the apparatus she was at was working. So she collection home.
My mom makes an eye assay arrangement for me. I go to the eye doctor and he looks at the denied anatomy and says “What? C’mon, this is insane.” So he looks in my eyes, does the tests and says “What the hell are they application bottomward there?” I accompanying my adventure and he aloof sighs and says “Well, here’s your proof. 20/20 in your larboard eye and 20/40 in in your right. You are about as far from dark as it can get. The larboard eye is actually 20/15 but I don’t appetite them to accord you problems over THAT too. Acceptable luck.”
So we go back, I booty the analysis afresh in the SAME MACHINE and it’s still broken. They acquaint me I’m dark and I appearance them my eye assay documents. I said “I’m not blind! I accept scope eyes in my larboard eye!” (That’s not necessarily actual but I was 16, what did I know) The adult abaft the adverse says “What do you appetite me to do?” My active adviser yells “Put him on addition gawd accursed machine, sweetheart!”
So she does and I aced the exam, every letter, every line, actually correct, alike apprehend the absorb in the #4 chantry on the basal of the card. Patty and Selma attending at anniversary other. One says “Damn!” They attending at me and I said “Give me my permit!”My sister got her active admittance on our altogether in the 2nd anniversary of July. I did not get abundance until the 2nd anniversary of September.
Later, I got a letter from the DMV. It was a anatomy letter and allegedly beatific out to a agglomeration of bodies who were bootless for permits and licenses. They apologized for the burst assay machine, said it was now anchored and all declarations of amaurosis from the accomplished 3 months were rescinded. They asked us all to appear aback in for a re-examination.
I alleged the DMV and accepted agreement for my eye assay fees.
They said no.
Photo Credit: OregonDOT
4.) The six-month typo
Suggested By: mikey is anytime opinionated
I already confused from Rhode Island to Texas for a Lateral Swap in my career. Upon arrival, I bare to…
I already confused from Rhode Island to Texas for a Lateral Swap in my career. Upon arrival, I bare to catechumen my drivers authorization over. I went to the DMV, handed in my old license, because you cannot accumulate two forms of ID, and got my new license.
On the new license, they spelled my name wrong. I promptly alternate to the DMV and explained the error. They brash that I charge accept fabricated an absurdity filing it online. I declared I didn’t book it online, but in actuality and the agent typed my advice and gave me the new license, and the advice was actual on my acting replacement. They declared I bare an aboriginal bearing affidavit and my old drivers license. I declared they took my old drivers authorization and that my aboriginal bearing affidavit is actuality alien here.
Long adventure short, I had to delay approx 6 months to get a accurate authorization because they mis-typed my information… and aback I assuredly accustomed one with the actual spelling, they got my abode wrong. At atomic this time I had the adeptness to appearance the cardboard I filed had the actual accounting abode via archetype apparatus afore submitting.
Photo Credit: OregonDOT
3.) New Mexico is allotment of the US
Suggested By: johncgold
I confused to Connecticut from New Mexico and afterwards accepting settled, went to the DMV to get a new…
I confused to Connecticut from New Mexico and afterwards accepting settled, went to the DMV to get a new authorization and plates. Afterwards accepting in and one band and cat-and-mouse one hour to get forms, afresh sitting in adamantine artificial armchair application my knee as a autograph apparent and bushing out the forms and afresh accepting into an addition band and cat-and-mouse addition hour and bisected for my about-face to allocution to a DMV actuality with my NM authorization and plates in hand.
The DMV actuality told me, “You are at the amiss annex of the DMV; this one doesn’t handle adopted transactions”. I anticipation the woman was badinage and laughed but she was austere and told me again. I told her that New Mexico was allotment of the United States and told her it was amid Arizona and Texas. New Mexico is not Mexico aloof like New England is not England. She afresh said she would be appropriate back, larboard and absolved over to addition woman and started talking and pointing over at me. An earlier guy abaft me in band commented that “this woman was a allotment of work!” I got a alley album that will advice you out already she comes back.
Then they both came aback over to me and said they would charge to get in blow with the New Mexico DMV but they couldn’t aback their phones wouldn’t acquiesce for all-embracing calls. My new acquaintance speaks up and shows the folio of the map of the United States, New Mexico is amid Arizona and Texas and not allotment of Mexico. Having a little added courage, I insisted that they attending at my authorization and plates. Along the basal bend it says, New Mexico, USA. The administrator accomplished out for the authorization and inspected and said that it had the “right feel” afresh best up one of my plates, angry it over it, analytical its printing, its colors and allotment tags, she took a abysmal animation and said ” It looks like a accurate plate, aggregate is in English.” Addition 20 account and $150 later, I was walking out of the DMV with new plates and new authorization apprehensive if affective to New England was a acceptable thing.
Photo Credit: nationalatlas.gov
2.) The amiss end of a heroin problem
Suggested By: craig nixon
May 1, 2003, 3:30 pm, I’m benumbed my motorcycle to assignment & zip a bit too bound accomplished a…
May 1, 2003, 3:30 pm, I’m benumbed my motorcycle to assignment & zip a bit too bound accomplished a brace of SF cops. I can acquaint they’re activity to cull me over, so I aloof acquisition a abode to cull over safely. As I’m putting the bike in aloof with the agent still running, I apprehend yelling. I about-face my arch and attending aback and see two cops, accoutrements out acicular at me.
Cops: “PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!” “TURN YOUR ENGINE OFF” “I SAID PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! NOW!”
Me: “I HAVE TO PUT ONE HAND DOWN IN ORDER TO TURN THE ENGINE OFF!”
I am afresh arrested for burglary a authorization bowl and adhering it to my own motorcycle which I had aloof renewed the allotment on.
As I’m sitting abandoned in the aback of the cop car apprehensive what in the goded hell is activity on, my thoughts go aback a few weeks to continuing in band at the DMV, I accept the exact one in the account above. I charge to renew my allotment but can’t acquisition my paperwork. So I address bottomward my VIN and authorization bowl cardinal and afterwards continuing in band for over an hour accord it to the laziest, meanest, ugliest, (I’m gonna stop with the insults), to which she says:
“That’s not your authorization plate, that cardinal is listed as missing or stolen”
“Well that’s what it says and that’s what I have”
And afresh she gives me accepted allotment stickers for a baseborn authorization plate.
Turns out a above accessory with a heroin botheration had absitively that I was the acumen he got accursed and exacted some animus on my by burglary a bowl with that was aloof a brace numbers altered and had put it on my bike afterwards me noticing.
$22,000 bond and 8 hours in the tenderloin cop boutique alcove on the aboriginal of the month.
Photo Credit: Thomas Marthinsen
1.) The DMV suggests you go afterwards a license
Suggested By: shackledtodesk
CA DMV strives to be the affliction in the country.
CA DMV strives to be the affliction in the country.
Moved to California in 1999 and went to DMV to get a license. Afterwards 4 hours in band to booty the test, afresh addition hour to delay for the analysis to be “graded,” get my account taken, afresh I’m about to pony up the money to agree the transaction…
DMV: You anytime try to get a California Driver’s Authorization before?Me: Um, no, I aloof confused here.DMV: Able-bodied addition has approved with your name and Social Security Number.Me: So, did you affair one to them?DMV: No.Me: Good, because I haven’t approved to get one. I anesthetized the test, I accept my old driver’s authorization here, and my SSN card. So is there a problem.DMV: Sorry, we can’t affair you a driver’s authorization because this is acutely a case of character theft. You’ll accept to alarm the investigations administration to assignment this out.Me: But, as a citizen of the state, I will accept to drive illegally because you won’t affair me a license. Can I get article in autograph that states there is an analysis activity on?DMV: No.Me: So what am I declared to do now?DMV: Alarm this cardinal and don’t get pulled over.
Call number- it’s disconnected. Alarm capital DMV 800 cardinal and afterwards cat-and-mouse on authority for 1 hour 45 minutes, get addition number. Why I can’t be transferred is above me. Alarm new number- spanish speaking woman with agreeable accouchement in the accomplishments answers. Not the DMV. Alarm DMV Headquarters in Sacramento, delay addition hour on hold, get a third number. Still can’t aloof be transferred. Alarm new number- disconnected.
At this point I amount there is no investigations department.
Pick a altered DMV arrangement and attack to circumlocute the action by answer the “identity theft” affair and extend my VA Driver’s License, US Passport, SSN Card, Pay stub, account bill, and antecedent year’s tax returns. Am told, sorry, there is an advancing analysis and we can’t affair a authorization in that name.
Me: Okay, alarm the badge and accept me arrested for character theft.DMV: I’m not activity to do that. You are acutely who you say you are based on your documentation, but because of the analysis we can not proceed.Me: That’s ridiculous. No Authorization has been issued in that name or ID, so there is no theft.
No added arguing or cajoling would move the action forward. So I leave and drive “illegally” for the aing bristles years, including renewing my VA Driver’s Authorization online. Aback my VA Authorization is about to expire again, but this time acute me to appearance up in actuality for a new picture, I try again.
Make appointment, appearance up. Booty test. Get account taken. Get license. Afterwards I accept authorization in duke and am aloof about to airing out I ask, “So what anytime happened to the character annexation analysis accompanying to my ID?”
DMV: There are no annal advertence that there was anytime an attack of character annexation or any array of investigation.
And during that absolute time I was able to annals assorted cars, accept them smogged, and do all the added DMV bs, except get a farking license.
Photo Credit: OregonDOT
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