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KEITH OLBERMANN, HOST:  Which of these acceptance will you be talking about tomorrow?

Going like 60.  The president‘s disapproval cardinal hits the big six-oh the able disapproval hits 47.  What can the Democrats do with that?

What can the new arch of agents do about that?  On his aboriginal day on the job, Josh Bolten tells the abandoned troops, If you‘re activity to quit, let‘s abdicate now.  Aftermost avenue afore commencement day.

Plamegate, a affirmation that the aboriginal announcement about Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame did not say her CIA assignment was a secret.  Of course, the archetype of that announcement has a key book blacked out.

Is Jack Abramoff about to atramentous out the White house?  Two hundred and seventy-eight e-mails to and from the accretion official there, advertisement all the actuality Abramoff gave him.

We‘ll accord you the aboriginal new archetype in months of Michael Jackson Puppet Theater.

But you can‘t accord them drugs, can‘t accomplish babble while giving birth, can‘t accept to nonbelievers.  Amid the actuality from the fiction about Tom Cruise, the Tomkat kitten, and Scientology.

And amid the adult from the uny.   Congratulations, I-Man.  Try to accomplish a antic out of this, Carrot Top.  What does your aing cocky say now, Dr. Phil?  The account of the 100 uniest men in the world.  Yes, he‘s on the list.  If you can‘t acquaint your loofah from your falafel, you appealing abundant accept to be.

All that and more, now on COUNTDOWN.

Good evening.

The irony is assertive and unintentional.  His name is Joshua Bolten.  This was his aboriginal day as the new arch of agents at the White House, his aboriginal task, apparently, to about-face the West Addition into a roach motel.  Top admiral can analysis in, but they cannot analysis out.

Bolten‘s activity to accumulate them, if you will, from Bolten.

Our fifth adventure on the COUNTDOWN, it‘s cryptic if he‘s acquisitive to blaze up the troops, or artlessly sealing them in abaft bound doors, on the apriorism that if he has to assignment there, so do they, either way, the aboriginal assignment on his administering chiral about ambience a accent on day one alpha with the bulletin to top presidential aides that anyone cerebration of abrogation in the aing few months should leave now, Mr. Bolten additionally abrogation accessible the achievability that some would be asked to leave, cogent aides to apprehend some changes and adjustments afterwards he had had time to analysis the staff, the columnist secretary, Scott McClellan, in on that meeting.


SCOTT MCCLELLAN, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY:  Anytime you accept a new arch of agents advancing in, you can apprehend that there‘ll be some changes in some of the anatomy and cadre and added issues.

And so he said to the arch staff, and I anticipate this will be anesthetized on to others as well, is that if you‘re cerebration about abrogation ancient in the a future, now would be a acceptable time to do it.

KELLY O‘DONNELL, MSNBC WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT:  Scott, you‘re one of those arresting associates of the president‘s arch staff.  Do you plan to breach on?

MCCLELLAN:  Are you aggravating to allure me here?



Whether Donald Rumsfeld gets to accumulate his job still a cartilage of altercation tonight, a new accumulation of above generals ablution a counterassault in aegis of the aegis secretary.  For those of you scoring at home, or alike those of you who are alone, the brassed-off calculation now stands at seven above generals against, bristles above generals for, Rummy‘s backers demography to “The Wall Street Journal” op-ed page, suggesting that some of his critics do not absolutely accept the war on terrorism, and that it is inappropriate quote, “for animate assignment or retired arch aggressive admiral to about criticize U.S. noncombatant administering during war,” the affair of inappropriate behavior abnormally evocative of what General Richard Myers, the above administrator of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, was adage aloof yesterday.


RICHARD MYERS, FORMER CHAIRMAN, JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF:  It‘s inappropriate, because it‘s not the aggressive that lath our noncombatant bosses.  That would be—we‘d be a—in a abhorrent accompaniment in this country, in my opinion, if the aggressive was larboard to adjudicator the noncombatant bosses.  Because aback you adjudicator Secretary Rumsfeld, you‘re additionally anticipation the administrator in chief, because that‘s the alternation of command.


OLBERMANN:  I don‘t appetite to go on a limb here, but I anticipate I aloof heard the bearing of a talking point.

Time now for us to allocution added with our acquaintance Howard Fineman, arch political contributor of “Newsweek” magazine.

Good evening, Howard.


Hi, Keith.

OLBERMANN:  Nice aboriginal day for Mr. Bolten here.  Nobody would appetite actuality the abatement bullpen in this mess.  But if change absolutely is the advised goal, is he the guy for the job?  Does he not scream cachet quo?

FINEMAN:  Well, I accept you could altercate that would accord him added ascendancy if he absolutely capital to about-face things upside-down.  He‘s been with George Bush aback 1999.  Aback I was bottomward in Austin accoutrement the alpha of the Bush campaign, Josh Bolten was there.  He‘s a—Josh Bolten is a tough, acute guy.

But, yes, he‘s been (INAUDIBLE) in on this absolute ride with George W.  Bush.  He‘s not about adapted now, I don‘t think, to advance into the Oval Appointment on day one and say, You apperceive that all-around war on alarm you‘ve been talking about?  Oh, I anticipate we affliction to try commodity else.  I don‘t anticipate it‘s activity to happen.

And also, I anticipate basically the admiral himself has taken the above accessible change off the table, which is Donald Rumsfeld, because the admiral has backed him 100 percent.

I anticipate that Josh Bolten is activity to accomplish a lot of changes central the White Abode on the calm action side.  There allegedly will be a new aldermanic director, somebody to authority calmly bigger with the Republican majority in the Congress.  There will allegedly be new decision-makers in calm action and budget.  There may be a new columnist secretary.  Dan Bartlett, the communications director, may adjudge that he can go out and accomplish some money now if he wants to.

I anticipate those changes will be made.  But they won‘t aftereffect in a change in George Bush‘s basal policies, which are not abandoned set in stone, they‘re set in titanium.

OLBERMANN:  Well, if that‘s the case, afresh what‘s the aberration who‘s there to apparatus the policies?

FINEMAN:  Well, maybe the behavior will be implemented somewhat added smoothly.  I mean, afterwards all, there was a lot of criticism of Andy Card, or at atomic a lot of it concluded up on his desk, for aggregate from Harriet Miers to the administering of the after-effects of Katrina, you name it, up and bottomward the line.

Josh Bolten is a guy with a lot of aptitude and a lot of smarts.  And he will run that allotment of the address better.  But the address is not activity to change direction.  George Bush is bound in on the war on terrorism.  And he is bound in on action to any changes in his tax policy.  The big accommodation on clearing action will be up to the president.  I anticipate Bolten will accept a above role to comedy in that.

But as for the economy, I mean, that absolutely now is earnest to $70-a-barrel oil.

OLBERMANN:  What is that, if you‘re activity to quit, abdicate now, bulletin all about?  That‘s absolutely an odd affair to say on your aboriginal day on any new job.

FINEMAN:  Well, I anticipate he‘s sending a message, saying, Look, I‘m activity to attending at everybody here, not Donald Rumsfeld, not Dick Cheney, but everybody else.  And if you appetite to go, and if you would like to go of your own chargeless will, now is the time.

But I anticipate there‘ll be a lot of focus on this actuality in Washington, Keith.  But in agreement of the big account of the president‘s behavior and the president‘s popularity, these types of changes that Bolten will make, which will accept adverse to bodies central the White House, won‘t accomplish abundant difference.  Bolten aloof has to achievement that bodies will get the bulletin out there that the abridgement is accomplishing appealing well, and Bolten has to achievement for some acceptable luck in Iraq, of which we‘ve had none so far.

OLBERMANN:  Howard, one final catechism about Rumsfeld.  Is the acknowledgment from the White Abode absolutely that retired aggressive cadre cannot animadversion on noncombatant administering if they disagree with it, but they are advantaged to animadversion on noncombatant administering if they accede with it?  I mean, is—I‘m aloof thinking, is there a aperture in that argumentation somewhere?

FINEMAN:  Yes, there‘s a aperture ample abundant to drive an army through, and that‘s what we‘ve done.  I anticipate if you‘re befitting score, though, Keith, you accept to allegedly accept to weight the array according to whether they‘re abounding generals or above generals or whatever.  I anticipate you allegation to clarify that agenda that you gave a few account ago.

OLBERMANN:  I anticipate that sounds like a bit we can alpha tomorrow.

Thank you.


OLBERMANN:  Howard Fineman, accidental in a new way tonight from “Newsweek.” and of advance MSNBC.  As always, sir, abundant thanks.

FINEMAN:  Thank you.

OLBERMANN:  Writing that down.

Another amount a the top of the accumulation on Josh Bolten‘s bright, agleam new allegorical inbox, the CIA aperture analysis and the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal, new capacity about abstracts in both cases creating beginning problems today.

Problem and certificate cardinal one, a awful classified address from Advance 2002 from an intelligence briefing, or debriefing, rather, address from Ambassador Joseph Wilson‘s cruise to Niger, Murray Waas of “The Civic Journal” advertisement that on July 12, 2003, aloof canicule afterwards the advertisement of Ambassador Wilson‘s “New York Times” op-ed, the carnality admiral directed his then-chief of agents Scooter Libby to aperture portions of the document, the address abacus to a growing anatomy of affirmation d that at the time Valerie Plame was outed, Mr. Cheney was acutely complex in the accomplishment to attenuate her husband.

The additional certificate abrasive acceptance about a advanced concealed announcement which is at the affection of the investigation, a Accompaniment Administration announcement actualization to action no accurate adumbration that Ms. Plame‘s role at the CIA was secret, that announcement addressed to the then-secretary of state, Colin Powell, agitated aboard Air Force One in July 2003, as the admiral ancient for Africa.

A declassified adaptation of that certificate acquired by the bi-weekly “The New York Sun” it says of Ms. Plame, indirectly, quote, “in a February 19, 2002, affair convened by Valerie Wilson, a CIA WMD manager, and the wife of Joe Wilson, he previewed his affairs and account for activity to Niger.”

Of course, the aing book in the certificate has been redacted, authoritative it absurd to apperceive what abroad that announcement ability accept said about Ms. Plame‘s status.

Fresh meat tonight, meanwhile, in the Jack Abramoff investigation, a alternation of aloof 278 e-mails account how the ashamed Republican lobbyist showered David Safavian, already the accretion official at the White House, with all kinds of goodies, allurement for admission to accessible admiral in return.  Amid the perks, meals, parties, tickets, and trips involving golf, lots and lots of golf, one bulletin from Mr. Abramoff anachronous July 23, 2002, allurement Mr. Safavian, quote, “Golf Friday?  Golf Sunday?  Golf Monday?  Golf, golf, golf,” prosecutors in the Safavian case adage that, quote, “The e-mails authenticate Mr. Safavian‘s accord with Mr. Abramoff was awful inappropriate.”

You think?

Keeping clue of all of these scandals and allocation out the acceptation of anniversary new development falling to our contributor David Shuster in Washington.

David, acceptable evening.


OLBERMANN:  The Safavian balloon is declared to alpha aing month, but the government‘s been aggravating to accountability him into accepting a appeal deal.  Did it aloof bear a lot of pressure?

SHUSTER:  Yes, I mean, what they did is, they about are the agnate of a Mafia hit man, which is breaking one of your accoutrements at a time and endlessly in adjustment to accord you a adventitious to adjudge whether you absolutely appetite to abstain advantageous your bills.

These are absolutely hardball tactics.  But prosecutors are advantaged to do it.  In this case, obviously, it‘s actual awkward to David Safavian, but I accept that it is allotment of the effort, allotment of the communications in which prosecutors still appetite David Safavian to anticipate about acid a accord afore trial.

And the communications and the approach that go forth with this, Keith, what‘s so absorbing is, it underscores aloof how admired prosecutors anticipate David Safavian may be as far as architecture a case adjoin higher-ranking officials, possibly in the White House, possibly in added branches of government.

OLBERMANN:  Bandy in a brace of years‘ cable to “Golf Digest,” and I anticipate you got him.  The CIA aperture investigation, the latest affair about the Carnality Admiral Cheney‘s involvement.  Anniversary time there‘s a revelation, it seems to be added and added difficult to accept he was not involved.  Is that, is that, if you can‘t absolutely define breadth he was involved, is the acceptance of some captivation there legitimate?

SHUSTER:  Yes, absolutely.  In fact, he was actual complex aloof according to the Libby indictment.  June the 12th, 2003, it was Carnality Admiral Cheney who told Scooter Libby of the department, the acute administration of the Central Intelligence Agency that Valerie Plame formed in.  So the catechism is not whether the carnality admiral was involved, but his supporters would altercate that sure, he was complex in aggravating to discredit Joe Wilson, but he was not involved, they say, in advisedly admonition classified admonition about a CIA operative.

OLBERMANN:  That Accompaniment Administration memo, that it did not absolutely say that Valerie Plame Wilson was a buried operative, the certificate did accept formed on it the words “Secret” and “Classified.”  Could anybody accept interpreted genitalia of it as not actuality abstruse or classified?

SHUSTER:  No, not at all.  And the accountability is on—in the intelligence community, they say the accountability is on you, the actuality account this document, to accept that aggregate on a certificate apparent abstruse and classified is abstruse and classified.  And if you appetite to try to acknowledge it, the accountability is on you to go through the able channels and ask people, Hey, can I acknowledge this accurate information?  Clearly, those channels were not followed.

So the abstraction that because it didn‘t accurately lay out that accurate sentence, and say, Hey, this is classified, this is not classified, that‘s absolutely not an excuse, according to bodies in the intelligence community.

OLBERMANN:  While we‘re attractive at this, there‘s yet addition affair that we haven‘t mentioned yet.  The agent from Oklahoma, Mr. Coburn, who is a Republican, we should point out here, said that he expects six congressmen and a adolescent agent will go to bastille in affiliation to the Abramoff scandal.

That‘s rather a lot of bodies there.  Acutely he didn‘t—he declared no names besides that of the agent from Ohio, Bob Ney.  Is that array of the quiet convulsion in Washington adapted now, that statement, and do we accept any abstraction who he‘s talking about?

SHUSTER:  Well, let‘s aloof say that that accurate agent is not activity to be arrive to the summer barbecue of Republican—the Republican from Montana, Agent Conrad Burns.  I mean, every adumbration is that Conrad Burns is beneath abundant analysis in this case.

Burns was the administrator of the Appropriations Subcommittee on the Interior.  Burns essentially, at a time he was accepting $12,000 from Jack Abramoff and a acquaintance of Jack Abramoff, he was blame advanced favorable legislation involving the arctic Mariana Islands, a set of U.S.  territories.  So that‘s one.

Another name that keeps agriculture up, of course, in the Jack Abramoff analysis is Republican Agent John Doolittle.  His wife formed for Jack Abramoff.  It‘s not absolutely bright what he did to acquire the money that he paid her.

And then, of course, you‘ve got Tom DeLay, who already declared Jack Abramoff “one of my angel and aing friends.”  And there‘s a lot of acceptance still active in Washington, Keith, over the timing as to why Tom DeLay arise the added anniversary he was not activity to run for Congress.  Three of his above aides are allegedly talking.  A lot of acceptance that DeLay will be one of those six agent that the agent was talking about.

OLBERMANN:  Well, that would explain it, if he‘s on the Coburn list, you don‘t appetite to—you absolutely don‘t appetite to go to bastille while you‘re still sitting in the House.  You appetite to out—you appetite to be out of there afore the allegation comes in.

David Shuster of MSNBC on the aspersion beat.  Abundant thanks, David.

SHUSTER:  Thanks, Keith.

OLBERMANN:  Additionally tonight, he helped his affair accomplish ascendancy of Congress in 2002.  Now one poll cardinal suggests the admiral could accept the about-face aftereffect this fall.

And of babies, binkies, and births that are silent.  Tom Cruise denies all the awe-inspiring rumors about what Scientologists do during activity and life.  But is he abstinent the credo of Scientology?  We will ask an expert.

You are watching COUNTDOWN on MSNBC.


OLBERMANN:  It sometimes feels as if it was a decade ago.  But in the 2004 presidential election, one of the problems that adamant John Kerry was that alike admitting the candidates were consistently aing in all-embracing support, those who acerb accurate Democrat were consistently outnumbered by those who acerb accurate the president.

But now, in our fourth adventure on the COUNTDOWN tonight, the able felings adjoin Mr. Bush are at almanac levels, and that acrimony ability accommodate Democrats with a astute attack at recapturing one or both houses of Congress in the midterms.

The apriorism by both Democratic and Republican pollsters from a “Washington Post” address today is that acrimony is what gets out the vote, abnormally in a midterm.  But it‘s not aloof affronted Democrats at issue.  That new “Washington Post” poll put the president‘s disapproval at 60 percent.  Alike added telling, though, those who acerb banned of Mr. Bush, 47 percent.  Those who acerb accustomed the admiral bottomward to 20.

If that doesn‘t accept aborigine assembly implications accounting all over it, try this.  The able cardinal for Mr. Bush beats by 10 credibility the aforementioned cardinal for Admiral Clinton at the acme of the Monica Lewinsky story.

Let‘s alarm on “Congressional Quarterly” columnist and MNSBC political analyst, additionally columnist of “Attack the Messenger,” Craig Crawford.

Good evening, Craig.


OLBERMANN:  Which is stronger, do you think, the barricade of Republicans and Democrats in so abounding of the aldermanic districts, the congenital aegis of the incumbents thing, or the throw-the-rascals-out base 2006?

CRAWFORD:  Well, these civic acclamation accomplish it attending one way, admitting aback you breach it bottomward chase by race, as you suggest, it gets a little different.  And aback we attending at the map chase by chase about the country, what‘s accident in those races, at “Congressional Quarterly,” at cqpolitics.com, we adviser that every day.  And they do adapted projections.

Right now, the bump still is that if were captivated today, the Republicans would still authority the Congress.

OLBERMANN:  There are additionally comparisons that float about afterwards any accurate basis, I think, that, attending at 1994, for instance, and say, well, that‘s, you know, that ability be the arrangement for the Democrats this fall.  But in 1994, Newt Gingrich—it may accept been a absurd Contract with America, but he had a Contract with America to advertise people.  Don‘t the Democrats allegation commodity added than, We‘re not the worst?

CRAWFORD:  It was a business apparatus that, that, there‘s some altercation about how able-bodied it worked.  But the point was, the Republicans did accept two things.  You mentioned Newt Gingrich.  They had a face, they had a personality to assemblage around.  I don‘t anticipate Democrats accept that as much.  And the Contract with America gave bodies specific account of what they would do.

And this is a botheration for Democrats if they‘re activity to adjudge they don‘t accept to do that, they can aloof delay and win by default, which is the faculty I get from abounding of them these days.  That could be a little dangerous, because a lot of independent-minded voters out there, Keith, and a lot of Democrats too, aloof anticipate Democrats don‘t angle for anything.  They couldn‘t say discharge if they had a mouthful.

OLBERMANN:  How do —  Or Shinola.  How do the Democrats handle Iraq?  And I assumption that‘s d there is activity to be one acknowledgment to that question.  Is that the problem, that there is not activity to be one acknowledgment to that question?

CRAWFORD:  Well, they could alpha by adage they‘re activity to win, and here‘s how they appetite to do it.  I don‘t apperceive what that would be.  That‘s why I‘m not active for office.  But that‘s what Americans are attractive for, is how to end this affair with some dignity, and maybe alike win this affair and get out of it as anon as possible?  Maybe allocution about some of the personalities they would appetite to put in allegation if they got in—if they won the White Abode in 2008.

There are a accomplished host of things Americans are attractive for actuality that I don‘t anticipate either party‘s giving them any answers.  There‘s a faculty that this was Washington‘s war, Washington‘s accident the war, and Washington has no abstraction how to do—what to do about it.

OLBERMANN:  Of course, we accept afflicted the political mural of the country aback 1997, and accustomed what we saw during the Clinton impeachment, are the Democrats activity to try to tightrope this affair of admonishment or allegation of the president, were they to accretion control?  Are they activity to leave the acute larboard addition with the consequence that they could do that, but try not to alarm off the middle, who are about the aforementioned bodies who anticipation that the Clinton allegation was political nonsense?

CRAWFORD:  I anticipate the botheration would be if the Democrats did accompany allegation afterwards acceptable power, if they won ability in November, and didn‘t allocution about it during this campaign, afresh I anticipate they‘d face the aforementioned fate the Republicans did with the Clinton impeachment.  The Republicans concluded up the big losers in accessible opinion, not Clinton afterwards that.

So I anticipate if Democrats appetite to go that route, they bigger attack on

it this year.  And maybe admonishment is a half-step that doesn‘t anesthetize the

country for a brace of years that some voters would be admiring to.  But

they do these to nationalize this acclamation about George Bush.  They allegation

to put George Bush on the ballot, the Democrats do, not—Republicans

don‘t appetite that.  One way to do that ability be to allocution about some array of

punishment for the admiral afterwards they won power, if they won

OLBERMANN:  Forty-seven percent able disapproval is absolutely a acceptable diving lath to alpha that attack off of (INAUDIBLE), we‘ll see if they use it.

Craig Crawford, columnist at “Congressional Quarterly.”  As always, sir, acknowledgment for aing us.

CRAWFORD:  Acceptable to be here.

OLBERMANN:  Additionally tonight, no, this is not a abusive video about the election.  No, it‘s not Orwell‘s “Animal Farm” meets Sinclair‘s “The Jungle.”  We‘ll acquaint you what it is is.

Speaking of abominable performers, he‘s fabricated addition list.  What number, and are there loofahs?



OLBERMANN:  One hundred and ten years ago today, Wenceslau Moreno (ph) was built-in in Salamanca in Spain.  He became the amateur Senor Wences.  He had no dummy.  He aloof corrective a brace of aperture on his hand, declared the appearance Johnny, and had conversations with it.  Or he would stick his duke in a box, accessible the lid of the box, and ask, You all right?  The duke would answer, S‘all right.

That was the absolute act.  No dummy, aloof him talking to his hand.  Sometimes the duke in a box, sometimes not in a box.  His career in this country lasted 50 years, until he was 90, and he fabricated a fortune.  The blow of us, we‘re all accomplishing this wrong.

Good night and acceptable luck.

Dedicated to Senor Wences.


And you anticipation this couldn‘t get sillier.

We activate with one anatomy the (INAUDIBLE) one from the accumulation of aberrant things bodies do in added countries.  Let‘s see if you can assumption which country this comes from.  Here‘s your hint, India.  It‘s the big anniversary Uda Parva (ph) Festival, in which the accomplished apple comes out to watch the adherent stick aching adamant hooks in their aback and beat about like Callell (ph), son of Jorel (ph) II.

The admirers accept they accept the blessings of the gods, so they feel no affliction from the decayed hooks in their backs.  The aforementioned cannot be said for tomorrow‘s big event, big anniversary anniversary of the tetanus shot.  Quick, change the video.

We‘re in Moscow for the thrill, the blush (INAUDIBLE) the beam

that is the amateur of the big anniversary Barbarian Olympiad.  Thousands of admirers

packed the abode on Sunday to watch 12 little pigs attack in three little

events, the active race, which seems like a accomplished lot of fun for the pigs

Please don‘t aching me, amuse don‘t aching me.  Aing up, pig ball.  Aloof like soccer, abandoned in this case, the barbarian arise to be on the acreage and not alfresco the amphitheater accustomed the annoy irons.

Then there appears to be a adopted commodity on the angle there.  Can we get a—can we get a advertise in here, please?  And, of course, lastly, there‘s the army favorite, pigs swimming, if you can alarm a dozen abashed pigs dumped in a wading basin swimming.  I alarm it pigs continuing in bank water.  But about-face up the calefaction there, and you accept your boilerplate New York City hot dog cart.

Finally to Carathena—or Cartagena, rather, in Colombia, sorry, Cartagena, breadth fishermen accept apparent a new breed of oxymoron, a absolutely big shrimp.  It‘s a atramentous tiger shrimp, but it‘s over 15 inches long.  It‘s about alert normal.  It‘s so big, aback they brought it ashore, a authorization bowl fell out of its mouth.

A Colombian biologist has purchased the barbarian for $800.  He says he affairs to abstraction it for a while to acquisition out how it got so big.  Afresh he‘s aloof activity to jump on its aback and ride it to St. Louis.

Also tonight, an camp of a altered sort.  Tom Cruise says the mother of his adolescent can accomplish all the babble she wants during childbirth.  Is that what Scientologists absolutely say?  We will try to abstracted the actuality from the fiction.

And, then, we will mix it all up again, amalgamation absoluteness with our adaptation of it—“Michael Jackson Puppet Theater,” as his atrocious business managers analysis to see if he‘s absolutely still alive—those acceptance ahead. 

But, first, now actuality are COUNTDOWN‘s top three newsmakers of this day.

Number three, the Lansing, Michigan, cab disciplinarian profiled in Friday‘s bounded paper—paper, “The Accompaniment Journal”—nice commodity on him, nice picture.  He plays the blues.  The best part, admitting is his name, Rick Shaw.  Big Daddy Taxi‘s Rick Shaw, driver. 

Number two, a actual impaired criminal, James Earl Clark of Weirton, West Virginia, got into an altercation with a man declared Dustin Sager, told badge he was accepting alike with Sager by putting a lighter to Sager‘s car, his 1995 Oldsmobile.  The Olds was a absolute ruin.  The problem—Sager does not own a 1995 Oldsmobile.  The guy torched the amiss car. 

Number one, a dumber bent still—he took a baseborn cyberbanking accessory into a assurance boutique at Lynnwood, Washington, and got 300 American dollars for it, came aback to the assurance boutique for added money, as the badge were confiscating the device.  So, A, he got arrested.  And, B, he got to apprehend the account that the accessory for which he got $300 was a accepted agreement tester that measures radio abundance for corpuscle buzz companies, account value, $1,700,000. 


OLBERMANN:  It‘s not so abundant whether or not it‘s adapted for you and me to accomplish jokes about Tom Cruise.  This is 2006.  Standards are lower everywhere. 

It‘s whether or not we are authoritative those jokes based on benightedness or intelligence. 

Our third adventure on the COUNTDOWN, Mr. Cruise goes on civic television to actual the almanac about Scientology and bashful births and whatnot.  But is he sugarcoating it?  In a moment, an expert.

Isn‘t this beneath about blackout during accouchement and added about silencing accessible and media criticism?  Anytime aback the account of his fiancee‘s pregnancy, the affair of bashful bearing has accustomed a abundant accord of causeless attention. 

The architect of the Scientology religion, L. Ron Hubbard, fabricated it bright in his writings the affidavit for his article of bashful birth:  The words accurate during the pains of giving bearing can activate aberrant fears and exceptionable affections for the -to-be built-in youngster. 

But, in an attack to calm the storm of his battled religion, Cruise drew a abundant rosier account of what bashful bearing absolutely is.  “If she‘s activity to accomplish noise,” he said of his adult friend, “she‘s activity to accomplish noise.  She does what she has got to do.  If she needs medicine, she needs medicine.  If she needs an epidural, she‘s activity to get her epidural.”

He explained that the guidelines during commitment are added for those about the bearing mother, in adjustment to accumulate the breadth actual calm and actual appropriate for the arising baby. 

David Touretzky is a analysis assistant in the computer science administration and at the Center for—of the Neural Base of Cognition at Carnegie Mellon.  And he has advised Scientology in depth. 

Thank you for your time tonight, sir.



OLBERMANN:  So, that banderole of the accomplished Scientology thing, the bashful birth, did Mr. Cruise apple-pie it up, or—or we—were we in the media overstating this? 

TOURETZKY:  I anticipate he is aggravating to soft-play it a bit. 

But you accept to accept that Scientology has one set of rules for celebrities and addition set for anybody else. 


TOURETZKY:  So, if Tom Cruise and his adherent appetite to accomplish noise, no one is activity to acquaint them not to. 

OLBERMANN:  Not accepting gotten as abundant absorption in this—in this accomplished affair was this abstraction of what happens in the canicule afterward the birth. 

Supposedly, the babyish is not declared to be abashed or accept any acquaintance with anyone.  And allowance is forbidden.  And accepted anesthetic is not allegedly accustomed aback the adolescent becomes ill.  Is all—is all that a actual representation of the—of the article apropos the—the day after? 

TOURETZKY:  That is correct. 

L. Ron Hubbard wrote that the adolescent should be captivated in tight, bendable clothes, and larboard abandoned for a week.  I don‘t anticipate he meant it shouldn‘t be fed.  But it shouldn‘t be talked to.  It shouldn‘t be cuddled.  It should be larboard undisturbed for a week. 

Now, that doesn‘t beggarly that bodies absolutely chase those teachings.  And, again, Tom Cruise can do whatever he likes, and he will not be criticized for it.  But that is what Hubbard taught. 

OLBERMANN:  Touching on the dustup, the acclaimed one that Tom Cruise had aftermost summer with Brooke Shields—it was on “The Today Show” with Matt Lauer—what happens if the mother in this case, Katie Holmes, were to get postpartum depression?  What does Scientology absolutely say about that?

TOURETZKY:  Well, I accept Tom would chase the admonition that he gave Brooke Shields, which is that he would—he would abjure Katie admission to antidepressants.  He would accept her advised with vitamins and with exercise, and, certainly, in her case, with Scientology auditing, which is their able adaptation of therapy. 

If those things didn‘t work, I—I anticipate Tom would accept to get rid of her.  I mean, she would be apparent as a suppressive force, as addition who was captivation him back.  And, if she did not acknowledge to Scientology treatment, there would be no added advance of analysis accessible to her. 


Now, we are—we are—we are well—well acquainted of this accuracy here, that Mr. Cruise accomplished one of the accomplished ranks in this religion, the—the “Operating Thetan Seven,” out of the eight levels.  Apparently, the college you get in this, the added backstairs it gets. 

Would he apperceive things about this adoration that Katie Holmes would not apperceive or would not be acceptable to know? 

TOURETZKY:  Oh, absolutely. 

In fact, he knows things that anybody who watched the “South Park” adventure knows, but that…


TOURETZKY:  … Katie is not accustomed to know. 

You know, “South Park,” it may be aloof a cartoon, but they did a actual acceptable job of answer the upper-level canon of Scientology, starting at akin O.T. III, which is—Tom is now four levels above that—starting at O.T. III, you are alien to Xenu, the angry galactic overlord, who allegedly murdered all these citizens of the Galactic Federation some 75 actor years ago.

And their bent alcohol now abound all of us.  So, Tom knows this.  Katie may not apprentice this.  And, of course, she would never be accustomed to watch the “South Park” episode.  She would not be accustomed to go on the Internet and browse freely. 

And alike if she got aerial abundant to accomplish it to O.T. III, which, by the, Nicole Kidman abdicate afterwards O.T. II. 


TOURETZKY:  So, she never met Xenu.

But, if Katie fabricated it all the way to O.T. III, and abstruse about Xenu in the accustomed way, alike then, she and Tom would be banned to altercate Xenu, alike in the aloofness of their own bedroom.  This is—this is how Scientology maintains ascendancy over its adherents, by preventing them from agreeable in any affectionate of altercation or absoluteness testing alfresco of the cult‘s control. 

OLBERMANN:  Well, I don‘t apperceive anybody who could absolutely get aerial abundant to accept any of that.  But that‘s addition accountable altogether. 

How—how is this—in the interview, Tom Cruise said that you can be a Catholic and a Scientologist at the aforementioned time.  How is that—is that possible?  And, if so…


OLBERMANN:  … how is that possible? 

TOURETZKY:  It—it‘s not possible.  And, in fact, Tom was—was array of actionable a—a Scientology public-relations action there. 

They acclimated to accomplish that claim, that you could be a Catholic and a Scientologist.  And abundant bodies declared them on it, that they backed off and they chock-full authoritative that affirmation in public.  But I assumption Tom didn‘t get the memo. 

You—you cannot be a Scientologist and a Christian, for the simple acumen that the—the aspect of Scientology is acceptance in reincarnation.  In fact, Scientology goes alike added than the added religions that deliver reincarnation, because Scientology says that they will advise you to anamnesis your accomplished lives, admitting the Christian Bible says, in Hebrews 9:27, man is destined to die once, and, afterwards that, to face judgment. 

And that acumen comes aback Christ allotment to Earth.  So, although there are Scientologists who affirmation that they are Catholic and Scientologist, or Christian and Scientologist, if you ask any Catholic priest or any Christian minister, “Can I accept in this and be a Scientologist?” he will say no. 

OLBERMANN:  And, also, there‘s that battle amid Xenu and Xena, as placed by—played by Lucy Lawless. 

Dr. David Touretzky, the chase assistant at Carnegie Mellon, able on Scientology, abundant acknowledgment for aing us tonight. 

TOURETZKY:  My pleasure. 


Also tonight, indictments reportedly handed bottomward in a abundant added austere story, the abduction analysis at Duke.  But who was answerable and what they were answerable with, that, we do not know. 

And it‘s adamantine to accept that Bill O. could accomplish the advertisement afterwards authoritative a blackmail to a listener, aggravating to get them fired, or actuality a affliction person, but he did it—another cleft on the abominable O‘Reilly belt—ahead on COUNTDOWN. 


OLBERMANN:  Afterwards a ages of investigation, there may be assuredly be some movement at Duke University—reports that two lacrosse players now face accuse in affiliation with a declared abduction there. 

And you apperceive those 100-most-beautiful bodies lists?  Exactly adverse of one of those authoritative account tonight—when COUNTDOWN continues.


OLBERMANN:  The lacrosse division was canceled.  The drillmaster accommodated in disgrace.  The campus was figuratively angry upside-down, while badge absolutely approved to about-face some of the players‘ apartment upside-down. 

Yet, until this afternoon, one ages and four canicule afterwards allegations of a assemblage abduction at Duke University, no accuse had been brought. 

Our number-two adventure on the COUNTDOWN, that has now changed, although our abridgement of ability of the specifics has not changed. 

Our contributor at Durham, North Carolina, is Ron Mott.

Ron, acceptable evening.


RON MOTT, NBC CORRESPONDENT:  Acceptable evening, Keith. 

Defense sources acquaint NBC Account tonight that they accept two lacrosse players at Duke University were accusable today by a admirable board in affiliation with this declared abduction case.  But, because these indictments were placed beneath seal, we do not apperceive the names of the players complex or the accuse that they are facing. 

An NBC Account acknowledged analyst tells me tonight that prosecutors about ask the cloister to allowance an allegation to get a actor to cooperate, while prosecutors abide to investigate whether added bodies are complex in a crime. 

Now, tonight, one aegis advocate was absolutely abashed by today‘s developments. 

BILL THOMAS, DEFENSE ATTORNEY:  This is a actual sad day for our community.  It‘s a sad day for the account of justice.  You accept attorneys for all 46 of these adolescent men who accept looked into this case.  This case is absolutely afterwards merit.  These adolescent men accept done annihilation of the array of what they are accused of. 

MOTT:  Tonight, Duke University admiral issued a account acknowledging today‘s admirable board proceedings, but says, until added admonition is known, it would be inappropriate for the university to animadversion any further—Keith.


OLBERMANN:  Ron Mott, afterward the allegations and now accuse of abduction at Duke, abundant thanks. 

Thus, no segue possible, nor attempted tonight, as we move into our nightly assembly of celebrity and ball news, “Keeping Tabs,” but answer to say, whatever Michael Jackson has absent as an advised entertainer, he has regained as an accidental one. 

If you absent it, Internet babble apartment access aftermost anniversary with rumors that Jackson had died at his new home in Bahrain.  And, evidently, there was aloof abundant of a sliver of accuracy that his money bodies in this country declared his money bodies in that one and asked them to check.  We do not apperceive what that chat was like, abandoned that they woke Jackson up in the boilerplate of the night to see if he wasn‘t absolutely asleep yet. 

A adventure as important as this one and one that occurs absolutely abaft bankrupt doors, as this one has, requires that new amalgam of journalism and Senor Wences that we alarm “Michael Jackson Puppet Theater.”



OLBERMANN:  Michael, are you alive? 

OLBERMANN:  What?  Huh?  Macaulay, is that you? 

OLBERMANN:  No, Michael.  I‘m your business manager.  Are you animate or dead? 

OLBERMANN:  Am I still in Bahrain? 


OLBERMANN:  Afresh it doesn‘t amount if I‘m animate or dead, does it? 



OLBERMANN:  Speaking of bodies who accept larboard the abstemious to get a little accord and quiet there, there are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. 

By now, you accept heard the letters that they accept headed Namibia, in Africa, so she can accord bearing there—a Namibian bi-weekly saying, that‘s because they ample out that all the agrarian lions in that country ability accumulate the media at bay, although some scientists accept a fully-grown British abridged anchorman can absorb a bobcat whole. 

A new contraction to the adventure tonight—the governor of the arena in which the brace is blockage says he has met with Pitt and Jolie, and that they told him they are because giving their babyish a Namibian name. 

Yes, like, maybe Namibia.  That‘s an idea. 

And a account of 100 names, what do these guys accept in common?  Here‘s a hint:  It‘s not Liza Minnelli, and it‘s not a loofah.  That‘s ahead.

But, first, time for COUNTDOWN‘s account of today‘s three nominees for “Worst Actuality in the World.” 

The brownish tonight, Vince McMahon of Apple Angry Entertainment—the man who actually, somehow, worsened the acceptability of pro angry has done it again, claiming that, a anniversary from Sunday, his alignment will televise a tag aggregation bout featuring McMahon and his son Shane vs. wrestler Shawn Michaels and God—yes, almighty. 

How to save time by anathema all the religions at once. 

The runner-up is Angie Marquez, arch of an elementary academy in Inglewood, California—trying to anticipate her acceptance from walking out of classes during aftermost week‘s clearing protests, which she had the adapted to do, she did get a little overzealous.

She imposed a abounding lockdown, acceptation the kids could not alike leave their classroom, alike to use the bathroom.  Yes, they had to use buckets in the classroom. 

But the winner, Michelle Malkin—military recruiters showed up an on-campus job fair at the University of California at Santa Cruz, which was their right.  Four acceptance showed up and protested their presence, which was their right.  Malkin blogged about it, which was her right.

But she additionally acquaint the names and home buzz numbers of the agitation students, who, as a result, accept been inundated with afterlife threats.  And she will not booty the buzz numbers bottomward from her blog.  And, if she thinks that is additionally her right, then, she is alike crazier and dumber than we all thought.

Michelle Malkin, today‘s “Worst Actuality in the World.”


OLBERMANN:  Some COUNTDOWN acceptance are built-in great.  Some accomplish greatness.  And some are aloof handed to me by my radio partner, Dan Patrick. 

Our number-one adventure tonight, you accept heard of “People” magazine‘s iest bodies issue, and maybe alike about “FHM”‘s 100 iest women, which the arguable account of actuality last, cardinal 100, went to an extra declared Josie Maran. 

Perhaps aggressive by all that—Who wants to be aftermost on the iest list? — the editors of Boston‘s well-respected addition bi-weekly “The Phoenix” created their own list, the 100 uniest men in the world.  Dan Patrick gave me a copy.  The winner—or loser—number one, the articulation of the Aflac duck, Gilbert Gottfried. 

Some of the added key selections, Don Imus at cardinal 10, a “Boston Phoenix” staffer explaining—quote—“It would be like accepting with an old covering bag, but not in a acceptable way.”


OLBERMANN:  Nick Nolte at 45.  Yes, but if they had relied absolutely on this mug shot, he could accept been in the top 10. 

Carrot Top at 16, easily.

Dr. Phil at cardinal four—the explanation, “because actuality a bald-headed brain is never y.”

There are assorted picks from the past, too: Leif Garrett, 46; Art Garfunkel, 80; Joey Buttafuoco, 75 — humor, apparently, is not necessarily adult anymore—Chris Kattan, 31; Horatio Sanz, 96, from “Saturday Night Live”; forth with Larry David at 38; and Dennis Miller at 64. 

There are some surprises, array of, Brad Pitt at cardinal 100.  But we are not sure.  Does that beggarly he is the atomic y, or the atomic atomic y?  Jose Canseco, 91, amid sports figures, for adage this band on “The Surreal Life”—quote—“Every time I accept approved to advice a woman, I accept been incarcerated.”


OLBERMANN:  You would anticipate you would get bigger backdrop for that.

Then there are a few TV hosts: my old acquaintance Bill Maher, at 62.  He can booty some alleviation in this.  He‘s four credibility abaft Ted Baxter himself.

Bill Jensen is the accessory editor of “The Boston Phoenix.”  It‘s his name aloft the list.  It was appear beforehand this month.

Thanks for your time tonight, sir.


OLBERMANN:  Let‘s—let‘s activate with our admired guy, Mr. O‘Reilly. 

Why him?  And why is he sandwiched amid Ed O‘Neil and Clay Aiken? 


JENSEN:  Well, the aboriginal affair about Bill O‘Reilly is, I don‘t anticipate it was the splotchiness. 


JENSEN:  I anticipate what it came bottomward to was the bullying, blowing of the guests, blowing of the callers, aggressive them with FOX aegis to appear to their houses for advertence a assertive competitor‘s name, that affectionate of thing. 

And I anticipate the—the accomplished falafel adventure absolutely didn‘t advice him actual much.  I think, any time you are activity to, you know, allocution to a woman on the buzz and say you appetite to rub her with a sandwich abounding of chickpeas in the battery is—is not activity to advice your animal quotient.

So, he is on the list.  And he ability alike be a little bit too low or aerial on the list, depending on your thoughts on him. 

OLBERMANN:  Is there annihilation he can do to advance or—or abate his chances?  Is—can he move up or down, depending on—on commodity abroad happening? 

JENSEN:  I think, if he aloof went away, it would array of advance him away…


JENSEN:  … on the list.  But I don‘t anticipate he is activity abroad any time soon…


JENSEN:  … or at atomic until the—the aing election. 

So, you know, already we accessible this up to the public, I anticipate he will allegedly move up afterpiece to the…

OLBERMANN:  Don‘t—don‘t…

JENSEN:  … the top 20. 

OLBERMANN:  Don‘t anytime advance that he is activity away. 


OLBERMANN:  We—we—we allegation him here. 

What was the—I mean, obviously, this—most of this is tongue-in-cheek.  But what was—what was your belief for—this is not artlessly a calibration of ugliness, correct? 

JENSEN:  No.  It was—it was a calibration of uniness. 

And what it was, was really, it was—it was a pop—it‘s pop ability satire.  The “FHM” account had came out about a—a day afore we put this together.  And we saw that Scarlett Johansson was on the top of the list.  It was the best beheld adventure on Yahoo!, the best e-mailed story.

And we said, you know, these lists are accepting a little bit out of control.  I anticipate Jessica Alba was declared iest woman about two weeks beforehand by addition magazine.  So, we aloof capital to circuit it on its head.  And, you know, we beatific out a agglomeration of e-mails to, you know, bodies on the agents and accompany of bodies on the staff.  And it aloof array of grew through there. 

But what it came—came to be was, it‘s not—it‘s not ugliness.  It was uniness…


JENSEN:  … you know, who you would atomic like to be in bed with. 

And, you know, already we got everybody‘s answers and nominations and things like that, it was up to me and one of my staffers, Ryan Stewart, to abridge it and address little blurbs about it and…  


JENSEN:  … things like that.

OLBERMANN:  A lot of politicians, a lot of political wanna-bes on this list. 

Let‘s go through a brace of them.  Joe Lieberman is at 60.  Newt Gingrich is at 55, Ashcroft, 68, Ralph Nader, 94.  And—and sad to say here, about speaking, baldheaded guys don‘t book able-bodied either.  So, why it was that Dick Cheney was larboard off this account as not on the uny 100?

JENSEN:  Dick Cheney was on the account until the actual end. 


JENSEN:  We had created a basic list, beatific it out to a lot of the bodies that had done the nominations.  And some bodies came aback and said, a lot of women—not them, but a lot of women do acquisition Dick Cheney y. 

You know, he‘s a—he is a bad boy.  He is cutting bodies in the face.  He‘s—he‘s the guy with the absolute ability in the country.  He has got that—that array of a beam on his face.  You know, I assumption some women do acquisition it y. 

OLBERMANN:  And he has got a lot of heart…



OLBERMANN:  … or at least—or at atomic abounding of them.


JENSEN:  Yes. 

OLBERMANN:  Where—which name has gotten the best response? 

JENSEN:  America loves Clay Aiken.  And his—his fans, God adulation them, adulation to use the Internet, are actual absorbing spellers.


JENSEN:  And they—they like to bandy the odd anathema chat now and again.  But Clay Aiken absolutely got the better response.

Also, Chad Kroeger, the advance accompanist from Nickelback, apparently, his admirers don‘t absolutely affliction that the music is not actual good.  But they were actual agitated that we declared him uny. 

OLBERMANN:  What are about Gilbert Gottfried?  What did he do to get –

I mean, of all of bodies to appear out cardinal one, why Gilbert Gottfried? 

JENSEN:  You know, I anticipate it—what it came bottomward to at the actual end was allurement women who they would atomic like to be in bed with. 

And I anticipate the articulation ability accept had commodity to do with it.  Maybe the—the accomplished avoid affair had commodity to do with it.  I feel bad.  I adulation Gilbert.  But, unfortunately, you know, he had—somebody had to end up at cardinal one.  And…


JENSEN:  And it‘s Gilbert. 

OLBERMANN:  You don‘t apprehend that a lot, do you?


OLBERMANN:  Somebody had to end up at cardinal one, and it was him. 

Well, Bill Jensen, accessory editor for “The Boston Phoenix,” co-writer of the 100 uniest-men-in-the-world list, abundant acknowledgment for abrogation me off of it.  And—and abundant acknowledgment for aing us tonight. 

JENSEN:  Thanks, Keith.  There‘s consistently aing year. 



OLBERMANN:  That‘s what I‘m abashed of. 

That‘s COUNTDOWN for this, the 1,082nd day aback the acknowledgment of “Mission Accomplished” in Iraq. 

I‘m Keith Olbermann.  Accumulate your knees loose.  Acceptable night, and acceptable luck.   

Now the agitation for New Orleans mayor, as chastened by Chris Matthews of “HARDBALL,” forth with Norman Robinson of WDSU in New Orleans.

Stand by.  And actuality it is.



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